Date: August 4th 2017

(This version contains a small addition to what was emailed last night. )


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PARSHAT VOETCHANNAN – RECOGNIZING THE TORAH’S PARAMETERS AND ONE’S OWN CAPACITY


“Honor your father and your mother as Hashem, your G-d commanded you…” (Parshat Voetchannan, 5:16) is the fifth of the Ten Commandments. Although this commandment is accepted throughout the Judeo-Christian World, it is only through knowledge of the Talmud and Halacha (Torah law) that one can know the Torah’s efinition of this basic commandment.

The Midrash (Devarim Rabbah 1:15) relates that the students of Rabbi Eliezer Hagadol (the great Rabbi Eliezer) asked him, “To what extent should the mitzvah of parental honor should be carried?” He answered them, “Go and see what Dama ben Netina did in (the city of) Ashkelon.” Dama ben Netina was a gentile who honored his parents to an exemplary degree. (Some examples of his behavior towards his parents are recounted in the Midrash.) The Midrash SEEMS to be saying that R. Eliezer Hagadol stated that their question could be answered by studying Dama ben Netina’s actions. In other words, Dama ben Netina’s conduct defined how to properly fulfill The Fifth Commandment.

The Commentary of Etz Yosef raises a question. How could the precise halachic parameters of a Torah commandment possibly be inferred from Dama ben Netina? Though exceedingly righteous, he was ignorant of the Torah, and his behavior was therefore solely guided by personal intuition.

The Etz Yosef answers that R. Eliezer himself was taught how the Torah defines parental honor by his teachers of Torah, who learned them from their teachers, and so on back to Mount Sinai. R. Eliezer also knew that the extent of Dama ben Netina’s parental honor just so happened to coincide with the Torah’s guideline on the matter. R. Eliezer was however reluctant to simply answer that this extreme measure of parental honor was mandated by the Torah. He feared that his students might assume that such exalted conduct was unattainable. R. Eliezer therefore advised them to observe Dama ben Netina. If Dama ben Netina arrived at and practiced this definition of parental honor on his own and without the guidance of Torah knowledge, it must be realizable.

There are (at least) three most relevant ideas that can be inferred from this text.



1) HOW HARD IT IS TO RECOGNIZE THE EXTENT OF ONE’S OWN CAPACITY

R. Eliezer Hagadol was a person of enormous stature. Of him the Mishnah writes, “If all of the wise men of Israel were on one side of a balance scale and Eliezer ben Hukanos (Hagadol) were on the other, he would outweigh them all” (Avot, 2:12). One of R. Eliezer’s students was the famed Rabbi Akiva. The Zohar (quoted in Sefer Kav Hayashar, Chapter 67) writes that upon hearing of his teacher’s death, R Akiva rent his garments and wept and then then cried out: “Oh Heavens, oh Heavens! Tell the sun and the moon that an illumination greater than theirs was darkened.”

Like R. Akiva, R. Eliezer Hagadol’s students were no doubt great and holy people in their own right. Yet, they saw the Torah’s exalted standard of parental honor as being beyond them. Apparently, had R. Eliezer merely assured them that that they indeed had this capacity, they would have remained unconvinced. That is why he had to advise them to observe the conduct of Dama ben Netina.

This text indicates that people are apparently born with a psychological impediment that prevents them from recognizing the full extent of their capacity for moral and spiritual excellence. Furthermore, this self-underestimation might be carried to a fairly significant degree. R. Eliezer’s students certainly respected and heeded his words. Nevertheless, no matter what he said, they would have continued to insist that such extreme parental honor was beyond them. But in truth, what they deemed totally inaccessible was, in fact, reachable to a righteous Gentile who had never studied the Torah.

Underestimating one’s own capacity is most detrimental, for it limits what will be undertaken and achieved. To whatever extent possible, people should therefore struggle to overcome this inborn block. Doing so can make the difference between whether or not great accomplishments are doable.


2) A WAY TO OVERCOME THIS IMPEDIMENT AND RECOGNIZE ONE’S OWN POTENTIAL

Rabbi Eliezer Hagadol felt that his students were capable of Dama ben Netina’s exalted parental honor. Yet, despite his great stature, Rabbi Eliezer could not convince them. He therefore advised them to visit Dama ben Netina. Evidently, this visit was able to get through to them in a way that Rabbi Eliezer Hagadol’s assurances could not.

This demonstrates that observing someone else who is acting with extreme refinement can enable people to recognize their own capacity. It somehow jostles a component of the inner psyche and creates a newly perceived reality: “If that person actually acts this way, I can I do the same.” Moreover, the impact of this major jolt can exceed the influence of even the most flawlessly brilliant argument offered by the most eminent of people. Although Rabbi Eliezer’s logic was no doubt impeccable, the visit to Dama ben Netina is what finally put them in touch with their own potential.

There are numerous references in the Talmud to the fact that it is advisable to have regular contact with scholars of Torah. For example, in Avot 1:4 it is written, “Let your house be a meeting place for sages; sit in the dust of their feet.” The conventional meaning of these phrases is that through mere contact alone with Torah scholars, one acquires a bit of their knowledge and character refinement.

Based on this text, it is apparent that there is also another and different benefit that can accrue from this association. People who consort with G-d-fearing Torah scholars of sterling personal character, might suddenly realize that they too have a far greater capacity for Torah knowledge, refinement of character and closeness to Hashem – maybe even to the extent of developing into great scholars themselves.


3) THE DIFFCULTY OF RECOGNIZING THE PARAMETERS OF THE TORAH

The conundrum of R. Eliezer’s students concerned the precise definition of the Torah’s requirement to practice parental honor. Their question was likely something like this: at what exact point does the honor bestowed upon a parent become inadvisably excessive? The idea of an improper extreme can apply to virtually any mandate of the Torah. To cite one well-known example, although giving charity is highly praised in Talmudic literature, donating more 20% of one’s income is expressly forbidden. Similarly, there is also a “too much” when it comes to parental honor. But… Where is that line of demarcation?

The words of the Etz Yosef’s Commentary quoted above contain insights into this issue. One who forms his opinions based primarily on “Torah unlettered” personal intuition cannot authoritatively define Torah parameters - not about the Fifth Commandment – nor about anything else. And this remains true even in the case of a Jew who is otherwise righteous and morally impeccable; the thinking of Dama ben Netina was disqualified, not because he was a Gentile, but because it was not based on Torah. Seemingly, so great a Torah scholar as R. Eliezer Hagadol could authoritatively opine on a matter like parental honor based on his common sense alone. Evidently, he only knew the true parameters of parental honor because he learned them from his own teachers of Torah.

It is a sad event when people formulate to institute significant changes to the time-honored interpersonal and halachic mores of Jewish tradition without support from the generation’s truly outstanding Torah scholars, who were themselves students of other truly great scholars. Those who initiate such changes are foolishly laying claim to a level of Torah expertise that even R. Eliezer Hagadol felt was beyond him.


This is an edited version of the dvar that was previously emailed on July 19th 2013


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