Date: July 8th 2022

At the end of the 40 years of wandering the Jews were finally ready to enter the land of Israel. Parshas Chukas tells the story of their final travels before beginning the conquest of the holy land. At that time, the Jews were approaching from the wilderness to the south of Israel and the most direct route would have been to pass through the land of Edom to their north. However, Hashem told them, as recorded in Devarim (2:4-8), that they were not to battle Edom because He had given these lands to them as an inheritance. If they were to enter Edom it would be on peaceful terms.
Moshe sent a request to the king of Edom asking to allow the Jews to travel through his lands. Included in his request were overtures to appeal to the Kings sensibilities and assurances of beneficial economic terms.
“Allow us to cross through your land, we shall not pass through field or vineyard, and we shall not drink mei be’er (water from the well); on the Kings road we shall travel, we shall not veer right or left.”
Edom is the eternal enemy of the Jews. Their King, unmoved by Moshe’s arguments and assurances denied them safe travel and met them on his border en force.
Rashi picks up on the use of the singular term mei be’er. If the intention is that they would not make use of the natural resources of Edom it should have stated in the plural, mei boros - water from the wells. Rashi explains that in fact, the meaning is just the opposite. Moshe was informing the King of Edom that although the Jews had their own source of food and water in the form of the manna and water from the rock, they would purchase their provisions from the Edomites. Rashi explains that this is to teach us the proper manner in which a guest should behave. That is, even when he has no need of his hosts supplies, he should nevertheless purchase what he needs in order to benefit his patron.
Torah ideology places a very high value on spiritual attainment. In the words of Ramcha”l, this universe was created for the sole purpose of man to achieve spiritual completion in his corporeal state. The ultimate vehicle for this attainment is through the study and practice of the Torah. However, so great is the ethic of derech eretz - to act with proper sensitivity to others, that the Mishna teaches us ‘derech eretz kadmah le’Torah’ the value of derech eretz supersedes even the Torah itself. What we can learn from this statement of Rashi is just how far this responsibility goes.
The ethical lesson of Rashi would be readily understandable, if we were to imagine a traveler who comes to an Inn run by a nice heimish family. Although he may have packed a meal for himself before leaving, he is supposed to buy his lunch at the inn to benefit his host. However, if we consider the situation of the Jews passing through Edom, this proposition takes on a whole new meaning. Even if Edom would have relented to begrudgingly let the Jews pass, which of course they did not, they are still the spiritual heirs of Esau and the embodiment of the forces of evil in this world. They are the sworn enemy of the Jews and our primary antagonists throughout history. On the other hand, the Jews had the benefit of partaking in the manna and a miraculous spring of water that followed them through the desert and provided water daily for millions of people. They were living in a constant state of pure dependance on Hashem and were being sustained literally from the Hand of G-d. It se
ems that the ethical imperative of proper derech eretz would even entail turning away from subsistence on Hashems miraculous victuals and instead purchasing food from their wicked and mortal enemy.
If we look even more deeply into this circumstance, we can appreciate an even greater lesson from this story. The sages teach us that coming into contact with a wicked person has a significant negative spiritual impact. Several examples of this are the saying ‘woe is to the wicked and woe is to his neighbor’. We saw in parshas Korach that the tribe of Reuvain became embroiled in the rebellion simply because of their proximity to the family of Korach. In next weeks parsha we read of the incident of the Moabite women who enticed the Jewish men to sin through their contact with them when they went to purchase provisions. We also have the Rabbinic prohibitions of eating food and drinking the wine of idolaters in order that we should not intermingle with them and learn from their ways. Purchasing supplies from the Edomites would seem to entail exposure to very some bad people which was easily avoidable in this case. On the other hand, eating from the Manna was not simply a pract
ical convenience. Rather, it was surely a very spiritual experience, one that deepened one’s belief and trust in Hashem in a way that was unique in all of world history. Despite these very significant factors, the paramount ethical responsibility to always act with derech eretz applies just the same.
People often think of the concept of derech eretz as nothing more than a nicety. Acting in a well-mannered and polite way, a notion which has lost most of its appeal in today’s society. In many instances people may set aside the constraints of propriety or act in an impolite fashion when there are other factors involved. An example might be if we have something urgent to do and we don’t want to be delayed with basic pleasantries. When someone is trying to get somewhere, especially for the sake of a mitzvah, and there are crowds of people they may rationalize that it is ok to jostle someone out of their way or cut a line. A faction of ultra-religious Jews who are intent on upholding very lofty levels of observance in their community could possibly engage in an effort that may embarrass someone or make them feel like outsiders in their community. The Torah, however, places a very high value on refinement of character. It is a fundamental principal that should not ever be viola
ted even in the pursuance of holiness. It is unlikely that any of our exigencies surpass the conditions bnei yisroel faced with the bnei edom. This chazal teaches us that the way we treat others and the way we conduct ourselves should generally not change based on the circumstances, our mood, or other factors, even when those factors are significant and justified.


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