Date: July 21st 2017

PARSHAT MATOT – THE MANY TIERS OF ADMIRABLE CHARACTER TRAITS


Parshat Matot (31, 2) relates that Moshe (Moses) was commanded by Hashem (G-d) to organize and wage a war of vengeance against the Midyanite Nation. Moshe promptly made the necessary plans, but he recused himself from the war itself and commanded others to lead it (ibid. 31, 4).

Can it be that Moshe disobeyed Hashem’s Explicit Command?
The Midrash Rabbah (22, 4) explains that Moshe’s conduct was based on a principle of mussar (Torah Ethics): “Do not throw a rock into a well from which you drank.” In other words, people should not disrespect or harm an entity from which they once received benefit.

Moshe was raised as an Egyptian prince by the daughter of Pharaoh. While still very young, he went out among his people and beheld an Egyptian taskmaster beating a Jew to death. Moshe then killed the Egyptian to save the Jew. When Pharaoh heard what transpired, he wanted to execute Moshe, so he fled Egypt and eventually settled in the land of Midyan. There Moshe married Tziporah the daughter of Yitro and lived safely the age of 80 when Hashem summoned him to liberate the Jews from Egypt.

Moshe received great benefit from the Midyanite Nation. Accordingly, , based on a precept of mussar, Moshe felt that it would be inappropriate for him to lead the war; that would have been like throwing a stone into the proverbial well. Moshe therefore appointed Pinchas in his place.

This seems hard to understand. Hashem knew this mussar precept as well. Yet, He nonetheless directly commanded Moshe to wage the war. How could Moshe act differently?

The following just-made-up tale should help explain the Midrash:
A woman was babysitting in a park for a rambunctious and strong-minded five year old girl who happened to have a very long ponytail. The mother called the babysitter and asked her to bring the child home. The little girl began protesting adamantly that she wanted to stay in the park longer. The babysitter called the mother back who angrily said, “I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET HER OUT OF THERE, BUT SHE MUST BE BROUGHT HOME - AND RIGHT NOW!” Taking the mother’s words literally, when the girl continued refusing to leave, the babysitter grabbed the child’s ponytail and used it to roughly drag her home, kisking and screaming. By that time they arrived, the weeping child was bruised from hitting the ground during their struggle and traumatized from being dragged home by her hair.

The mother was understandably furious. The babysitter then defended herself by saying: “You said, ‘I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET HER OUT OF THERE,’ so I took your words literally.” The mother replied: “If you had even a little bit of sense, you would have realized that, despite whatever I actually said, I never meant that you should so abuse my daughter. Don’t you realize that what you did was morally revolting and cruel and possibly even criminal?

Hashem actually told Moshe that he himself should lead the war against Midyan. 100+ years earlier, Moshe was personally saved by the Nation of Midyan, so waging war with them personally would have entailed ingratitude – just like throwing a rock into a well from which one drank. Moshe therefore surmised that Hashem’s Words had to mean that that war should be led by a surrogate. Even though the Midyanites had harmed the Jews mortally and deserved to be attacked, Moshe leading this war himself would have entailed ingratitude to Midyan. No criticism of what Moshe did is mentioned in the Torah. Clearly, what Moshe did was proper.


One insight into this Midrash literally leaps off the page. This demonstrates the extent to which the Torah’s ethic of gratitude must be carried. The favor Moshe felt beholden to repay took place 100 years earlier. Furthermore, not only were the recipients unworthy of kindness, but they were so evil that Hasem commanded that a bloody war waged against them. Gratitude was from Moshe nevertheless in order. Surely, the Torah’s obligation to act with gratitude applies all the more so for kindnesses that were done more recently and by upstanding Jews.


Gratitude is a Torah duty. It could perhaps be said that there are four tiers or levels when it comes to fulfilling the Torah’s attribute of gratitude. Some people rarely, if ever, act with gratitude toward those who have helped them. A second group reluctantly expresses some slight measure of thanks to those from whom they benefited. A third type are the enthusiastic and virtuous practitioners of gratitude.

Moshe was on a fourth and yet more exalted level. To Moshe, this sacred duty was so inviolable that even the thought of a minute bit of ingratitude was utterly objectionable and abhorrent – so much so that when Hashem seemingly explicitly commanded Moshe to attack Midyan, Moshe correctly altered the plain meaning of Hashem’s Words to be saying that Moshe should appoint someone in his stead. For Moshe, the thought of possibly acting ungratefully toward an evil nation that helped Moshe 100 years earlier was akin to the thought of mercilessly dragging a screaming little girl down the street by her ponytail. A truly pious individual like Moshe could never for a second even contemplate repugnant ungrateful conduct.


Gratitude is but one of a series of praiseworthy personality attributes mentioned the works of Torah Some other examples are alacrity, generosity, honesty, modesty, and so forth. A person’s theoretical Torah obligation is to strive to the very highest tier possible when it comes to the acquisition and assimilation of each one of those laudable traits. In an exalted and sophisticated sense, the “Ultra-Orthodox” thing is to always strive to imbibe these virtues and thereby attain refinement and perfection of character - as much as humanly possible.


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